Good Hair Reflection (Because I'm too late for a review...)

Again, I'm well aware that I am far too late for a review of the "Good Hair" movie, as it has been in theaters for some time. However, I never think it is too late to talk about self loathing within the African American community and one of my favorite things about myself... natural hair.

What struck me about the movie, and what has stuck with me, was not what was on the screen, rather the reaction in the theater. I thought it was so interesting that everyone in the theater was laughing the whole movie until the man said he would rather have a white woman so that he could run his hands through her hair. Only THEN was there an uproar. Personally, that was the least disturbing part of the movie for several reasons. I thought it was ignorant for starters because I love my natural hair, men have enjoyed running their hands through it, and I enjoy having their hands in my hair. LOL. So his comment was just stupid to me, I guess because I dont apply.

I found the children getting their hair relaxed troubling, even though I was one of those children. I believe I was about 5 when I got my first relaxer. I know often parents opt for relaxers is because it’s just easier than having to deal with coarse hair daily. But what most parents don’t realize is the choice they are making for their child has long-term ramifications. Most notably the psychology of long straight hair being better than what is natural to us, evidenced in the movie when high school girls said they would not hire someone with an afro, regardless of her intelligence. That is self hatred... and it is being instilled in OUR children.

For me being natural has allowed me to express my true self, but it has been a process. I got a bad relaxer, cut most of my hair off, dealt with the rest breaking off as the relaxer grew out, get used to not having a long, flowing wrap which I had become so accustomed, finding styles that suit my texture, and dealing with constant scrutiny today. All this because I wanted to be who I really am. I love the variety my hair gives me, before I wore 1 style- a wrap. LOL. Being natural fits the many dimensions personality, and I can change my hair to reflect accordingly.

I usually get a compliment on my hair at least once a week, and sometimes everyday. (Recently, people have been asking if it’s real, which I find hilarious) But I've also had my fair share of negative feedback from both white and black people about my hair. Honestly, white people are pretty receptive. Most often they think it's cool. And as long as I make it look like curls rather than "naps" they really don't care (and I don’t want to see naps either so I don’t think that is sacrificing anything). As for black people, I remember being at work and having an older BLACK woman tell me that my twists were "weekend hair." I've had a BLACK man tell me that I'm pretty but the reason I don't get male attention is BECAUSE of my hair. and the truth is, HE'S RIGHT. I don't get male attention. I don't even get a second look most times. I never had that problem in college, when I was still getting my hair relaxed and I look exactly the same. The truth is many black people don't even appreciate what grows out of their own scalp. I don't think everyone should be natural, I advocate choice. But I wish that we as black people would learn to embrace our differences and not just tolerate them (and we don't even do tolerance very well sometimes).